Freaky Eaters (BBC Three, Saturday 7pm)

The new season of Freaky Eaters started last week, and to be honest its the kind of show i usually avoid; I can't stand shows where 'psychologists' 'treat' 'people' by 'confronting' them with their worst 'fears.'  BBC Three is actually a huge culprit, Spendaholics for example was a complete mess of a show.  How does filling a room with potatoes and saying "this is how many potatoes you could have bought with the money you spent on that dress" cure anyone? It doesn't. 

The difference with Freaky Eaters is at least you can laugh your head off at the poor sap who can't put a vegetable past their lips without gagging. This episode was no different it was hilarious.  It was about Bolton lass Nikita who was addicted to Bacon and Burgers; supposedly brought on by a mugging. The show consisted of scene after scene of Nikita trying to eat different foods before gagging and spitting them out. I think you'll agree this is just the kind of TV you want to settle down with over a nice take away.

Turns out Nikita used to enjoy signing as a child; cue one of the most humiliating, cringe inducing, but frankly laugh a second scenes i've seen on television this year. They make a now heavily overweight and under-confident Nikita dress up in a prom dress, take her to the clothes show in Birmingham, and have her sing "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. 

Guess what, she can't do it, she bursts out in tears while small utterances and squeaks emerge from her gullet, it was kind of like watching her eat. More to the point what in gods name has this got to do with an eating disorder. After i stopped laughing, i suddenly started to feel an incredible remorse; what has this poor lass done to deserve being humiliated on television in-front of thousands of people.  Passing this kind of tat off as Psychology is bordering on offensive. If it wasn't such good TV i'd be writing to the Daily Mail. 

This episode is still available on Iplayer as we speak and i highly recommend a watch; plus you get to see the greatest town in Britain in all its filth encrusted glory. 

7/10

Highlight of the Past Week (BBC Breakfast)

Open your ears and enjoy the moment the BBC 'mistakenly' played Christian Bale's now infamous rant unedited in the early hours of the morning. 

The reaction of the flabbergasted 'news readers' is hilarious. The clip is followed by a groveling apology, clearly designed to ensure the Daily Mail and its pompous middle class twin set and pearl morons didn't start a virulent hate campaign, as they have done with Jonathan Ross and Carole Thatcher.

Your Country Needs You (Saturdays BBC One)

There's something about the BBC one "talent" shows that make them incredibly difficult to connect with; with X Factor and the admittedly terrible Britans Got Talent, there is a distinct knowingness inherent within the show that what they are doing is ultimately a money making exercise slapped on the screen to give gorping saturday night pizza munchers something to laugh at while they order their meat feast.  With BBC one everything is just a little to serious, and in turn a really painful watch. 

Last nights episode of Your Country Needs You, (why? i don't know!) was definitely the worst yet. The show revolves around the concept that if Andrew Lloyd frog face writes the Eurovision song England can somehow manage to win; despite the fact that the whole thing is a complete un-winnable farce. 

The acts were plucked from various arenas; the streets, panto, the stage, the pub circuit; and let me stress it really shows. Never have i seen a talent show where the acts have less talent that the audience watching; in fact, the wooping and screaming from the audience is actually more in tune that the singing that went before it. 

The worst of all the acts is definitely the above pictured "Twins" (yes thats really the moniker they've chosen) They look like two brain dead actors playing bit parts in a Paris Hilton film, and their singing is as flat as Andrew Lloyd Webber's face.  What's more annoying than the terrible fair served up is the wooden and lying judging panel, who sit with moronic smiles smudged across their faces hailing the talentless schmucks as the next Tom Jones or Sugababes. 

Your country needs you! As the weeks go by I'm starting to see why! Because they NEED some singers with talent, so they can ditch the signing face aches they've already aquired. 

One to Avoid! 

Theroux "Scores" in Philli.

Louis Theorux has done it again; this man can do no wrong. Last night we were treated to Louis wandering the streets of Philadelphia interviewing hardened criminals for an insight into the drug trade.

Theres something about Theroux that means even when he's walking into dark vacant houses to take a peek at a dead body (he did this last night by the way) you still have a smile on your face; he has an incredible knack of blending the comic and the tragic. This was probably the first time you could see the fear behind his specs, yet he still managed to crack some hilarious jokes.... for instance

"I'm travelling with Paul Hunter, known simply as Hunter."

This documentary was truly heartbreaking at times with tales of drug addiction and young gun victims; it made me want to watch an episode of the wire... and i dully did!

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Here's a taster, the full episode is available for a week on the bbc-iplayer.

Louis is back on our screens next week in Johannesburg; he better have that bullet proof vest on damn tight!