Britain's Got Talent Semi Final 3

Forget the fact that semi final's in any other competion would have ended after the second show, as semi finals normally consist of the final four over two matches. Putting that aside tonights show as Simon put it could be car crash TV, thank goodness for another Semi Final.

Up first were Harmony who were brilliant apart from the fact they couldn't harmonise. Very energetic nice dance, shame about the singing part of the performance. Again Amanda proved she was severly lacking in any kind of ability to judge. She thought the singing was excellent, she wasn't pleased when Simon critisiced the singing immediatly.

Piers has found his second act for his new management company joining DJ Talent is Kay the man who plays the saxophone,.......without a saxophone. He makes the noise with mouth and nose. This is one of those joke acts that get through for public humiliation, not great but strangely entertaining. Simon hated it and buzzed straight away, as the big boss makes me wonder why he allowed this guy through. Oh yeah the public humiliation part.

The third act on stage tonight The Ballroom Dancing Siblings, not their official name. A pretty nice routine, not outstanding, but ok. They are hopeful but.......

Simon doesn't like it he makes another girl cry, he's on fire!!!

Fourth up is Swansea schoolboy Shaeenennnenennnnn Jagoglekojoosaodjeiiijriiiiy. A talented kid but will prove to be incredibly annoying I imagine. Could this be another one that Simon makes cry.

Starts to sing and seems to be off the beat of the track.

Wow this kid lacks stage presence...his feet are glued to the floor. I don't like him, good vocal so the praise is gonna be crazy good, standing ovation from Simon.

Piers thinks it is the best singing performance in the Semi Final, better than Boyle? The world will not be pleased!

Amanda loves it as well, she pins his ability on something in the Welsh water. He is better than Tom Jones apparently.

Simon think Shaeen is a contender for the title. Here we go again, Dancing prodigy last year Singing prodigy this year!

Whoever has to follow that won't be happy.

Oh it is 3 farmers with wheelbarrows doing some strange free running esque dance with wheelbarrows.... but it is 3 farmers, they did well considering they had to fit in practice round their 12 hour a day jobs. 2 buzzes from Piers and Simon, of course Amanda loved it! She bloody would.

Next up is Liverpool dance troupe with a political message. They've just tributed it to two dead kids. Can't see any critiscism here. Big production, impressive, but to me it seemed repetitive.

Simon loved it, Piers thought the message was great and liked their passion. Amanda..who cares what she says!!! This could get lost in the mix, middle of the show performance having followed Shaeen, could be tricky, they may sneak through in second place. Compared to Flawless and Diversity not as good.

Up now is Floral Highnotes a unique act to say the least. A man arranging flowers while a woman sings opera. She's good, can't really judge the flower arranging, not really a "talent" I am familiar with. It is possible the crowd are booing! Simon has buzzed them. Yeah there is a lot of booing.

Piers likes the culture aspect, he has a dig at Simon again, about the 4th time tonight. Piers thinks the act is right up The Queen's street.

Amanda of course loves it!

Simon is about to unleash......Simon wants the flower arranger to make a car!!!!! yes he said it. He thinks even he could have made the arrangement the flower guy made, i'd have to agree with him. Simon is on the money tonight.

Up now is Stavros Flatley, as it stands I think the second place will be between them and MD dance troupe the ones with the political message. Here we go final act, hillarious if they get through!

The judges seem to love it but it is a fat man and is son dancing a cross between irish dancing and greek dancing, enjoyed the Greek music. It is meant to be comedy dancing, didn't make me laugh. Though they are brilliant people, great guy's. We shall see.

The phone lines have just opened, Prediction: Shaeen is a lock, and I expect the rule of last to go on stage is guarenteed a passage to the final will continue with Stavros Flatley.

The results are in..........

The winner of this Semi Final is ..........Stavros Flatley???????? Wow!!!!!!!! Love it!!!!

The next two acts with the most votes to go to the judges decison are......

Shaeen and MD

Simon chooses..... (He's gonna makes someone cry here no matter what) MD

Amanda chooses........Shaeen

Piers chooses............. Shaeen...he made some girls cry.. high drama

Ha ha Simon did make Shaeen cry sad his friends have gone out.

Finalists are Stavros Flatley and Shaeen the wunderkind singer.

BGT The Finalists so far

Susan Boyle




Diversity



Flawless



Shaun Smith

BGT Semi Final 2

A theme running through tonights show was the incessant chatter from the judges that Susan Boyle had better watch out, she has competition. Well does that ring true in tonights 2nd Semi final? the answer would be a resounding no! As Simon said himself there was a lot of junk out there tonight, among the junk was a drag fat man, nervous guy, not so hot honeyz, and DJ funny but no talent. There were a couple of acts in the middle though they had talent were not amazingly entertaining, The Ventriloquist and the Magician. A nice name for a pub, watch your woes dissapear as you drink our finest ales.

That leaves us with Sean Smith X Factor avoider and Flawless the dance act that made a mistake. Can these two if they go through really contend with the populous internet sensation Susan Boyle.

The likely hood would be these two going through tonight as I wait for the results. The Geordie duo have announced the phone lines are now closed so we don't have long to wait.

The First Semi finalist through to the final with the most votes is...................................................


No surprise it is Flawless!

The two acts fight it out for the judges decision are...........................................................................


Shaun Smith and Gareth Oliver..... This should be interesting.......I can't see anything other than a clean sweep for Shaun here, they really loved him.

Simon goes for............... Shaun

Piers..................Gareth, he likes the more variety style act.

Amanda............ doesn't like making young people cry, so goes for Shaun.

Shaun is in the final!


Gareth a gracious loser, wishes Shaun all the best for the final and will vote for him, a class act.

The question that arises again is anyone going to stop the juggernaut that is Boyle!

What do you think?

S.Darko.

Ok so i took the plunge and spent just over an hour and forty minutes of my life engrossed in the sequel to 2001's cult classic Donnie Darko; this decision was mostly brought on by seeing Donnie Darko on BBC2 last night and remembering just how enamored i was with it when i first saw it.

Some films are just ripe for sequels Donnie Darko was not one of them; and this horrible clunky botch job proves the point explicitly. 

S.Darko follows Donnie's sister (Daveigh Chase reprises her role) who has left home distraught at her brothers death; she goes on a road trip (I think?) with her friend. This is all i could fathom from the plot because as soon as the pair end up in small town America the film spews off into a weird student film inspired territory from which it never returns. 

The script is utterly appalling; and the acting is abhorrent, its not often you have to turn away from the screen in horror at the sheer ineptitude of the performers.  Ed Westwick is without doubt the worst culprit (he's that guy from Gossip Girl) He plays the same character in this; he's that good looking guy with stubble who takes 3 second pauses between words "so.... you wanna.... have a good.... time." It's horrible. 

There are small nuances from Donnie Darko like the rabbit head and the word "Darko." That's about it. 

And when you think it couldn't get any worse Nathan Scott from One Tree Hill turns up and throws in the worst performance by an actor i've ever seen, it was like he was taken out of a hospital 10 minutes after a serious brain operation and told to read lines. He looks like he has no idea what the film is called let alone his characters motivation. IT IS HORRIBLE. 

I can't even begin to stress how bad this film is, its apocalyptically bad; its Scream 3 bad; its got Elizabeth Berkley in it bad. 

Donnie Darko certainly challenged with its intelligence; this is so down right stupid it challenged my will to live. 

Please please don't watch this. 

0/10

BGT SBOYLE SPORTS

The Britain's Got Talent semi finals began tonight and we have no doubt who the producers are supporting. Susan Boyle was in the favorable position of performing last. The sheer gaul of BGT to make this decision and think we the viewer are not aware that her position was anything other than a producer's selection is shocking. Does she really need any more help?? She has already had 100 million viewers on youtube, has appeared on Oprah and has had name drops on South Park and The Simpsons. She is a guarentee to win the competition which is a shame for all the other acts who think they are even in with a chance. With Susan Boyle known around the world Simon cannot wait to milk that cash cow. Her moments of madness may put that to end we will see. She seems a bit body popping mental.

All of the above was reaffirmed when the results for Semi Final 1 were revealed and Boyle was the act with the most votes and is through to the final.

The judges choice revealed more than just the second finalist. In a straight shoot out between talented dance troupe Diversity and sickly cutesy future x factor loser Natalie Okri the judges were split. Piers went for the flawless Diversity and their intelligent storytelling in their dance sequence. Amanda Holden went for Okri, what did we learn? Amanda Holden clearly bases her decisions on cuteness and not talent, she fears the hard decisions.

The night was saved when Simon made the decision that everyone wanted...... he made a little girl cry. Forget about the brilliant Diversity going through.....Simon made a little girl cry.

On Britain's Got More Talent the house band was the brilliant The Brett Domino Trio. I was still holding hope that they were in the Semi Finals but alas no. If I ever get a chat show they will be my Paul Schaffer.

Glee Pilot Premiere

For those looking out for the next American import to rival and compete with the likes of One Tree Hill, Smallville, Gossip Girl look no further than Glee. The pilot of the show aired last night in the U.S. and will be hitting the screen in the fall, it is well worth the wait. It surpasses the aforementioned completion, it is an intelligent fresh look at high school melodrama. It also surprised me with the humour content it was genuinely funny, it has a sharp tongue and has well rounded characters with a depth that shone through in the pilot. I look forward to the autumn when this show returns full time.

Glee

The new show from Nip Tuck creator Ryan Murphy starts on the 19th. Pulled in by the original teaser trailer featuring the power ballads of all ballads Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. This show as the potential to be the next big show, harnessing the incredible popularity of High School Musical and jamming it into a more adult framework. Time will tell whether Don't Stop Believin' will bookend the ending of one great show (The Sopranos) and the beginning of another. However it does have all the ingredients; high school cliques, Jock with a heart and a soul for singing, tracy flick esque high achiever, sassy black girl; crippled kid; a caring teacher, caring teachers nutty wife and the brilliant Jane Lynch as a sardonic Cheerleading coach.

The business savvy people at Fox have made the smart move of debuting the show after the finale of American Idol which regularly pulls in 20 million plus viewers. Combined with the move to release the songs sung in the show on I Tunes directly after the show finishes someone should be making some cash/money.




It could become as hard to miss this show as it is to be water boarded.

BBC's Infamous Snooker Broadcast 1997

It's Dragons Den... but not as we know it (or like it)

Dragons Den is a top Program.  The combination of straight talking, frankly arrogant millionaires with sweaty cheap suited northern monkeys making a fool of themselves with terrible inventions is hard to beat.  You know what they say... If it aint broke don't fix it. 

Well the BBC have tried to fix it, ok so they haven't taken Dragons off the TV and a new series will be returning soon with exactly the same formula, but they have created a online only spin off which is as dull as four day old dishwater. 

I watched about 15 minutes of the first episode and i knew exactly what i was dealing with, the dragons den formula with rotten production values and a couple of complete no marks as "Dragons." 

It's kind of hard to explain why i don't like this show, its the same as the one i do like, but it had a CBBC feel, especially the grainy establishing shot of the "pitchers" in a lift. It was kind of like they were being held captive by a terrorist. 

The first pitcher was a complete moron; his invention was a couple of wheels stuck to the bottom of a chair, so people with disabilities could "tuck themselves" under the table after sitting down.  The only thing going for this was the word "disabled," everything else about the "invention" was a joke. 

I would happily have paid the guy the full amount just to get out of my sight! 

I guess if you've got half an hour spare, or your at a loose end this is a decent pithy filler, but otherwise its drab, and theres "bonus" content from Dominic Byrne (who the F is that?!) He looks and sounds like a bald Rufus Hound (that rhymes!) and he's even less funny (i know, hard to believe right.) 

One to avoid... mainly. 

6/10

Glenn Beck How Crazy American News Can be!

Fox news has developed over the last 8 years the reputation as the mouthpiece for the George W. Bush administration. However since the emergence of Obama and the democrats in all forms of U.S. governance then Fox News as come out as the extreme anti normal opinion. Now anything they disagree with is now A) Socialism B) Fascism C) SCARY!!!!
When was some socialism a bad thing, looking around the world the U.K., France and Canada seem to be ok with our socialist healthcare system. Though it does seem like Gordon Brown is an evil dictator.
Anyway take a look at this clip from the Glenn Beck show. Remember this is meant to be a show on a news network. This will be the first in a series of pieces analysing Fox News and how it delivers it's news.

Fischler Finally Gets His Break

I knew it would happen; I've been waiting for it to happen for a long long time now; and i couldn't be more delighted that it has. Patrick Fischler has finally hit the big time.  The actor popped up over the last fortnight in two fantastic episodes of LOST as Dharma worker 'Phil,' and he's also been hilarious as Jimmy Barret in this season of Mad Men.

I first noticed Fischler as a video store clerk in the film Ghost World and since then i've been hooked, looking out for his quirky cameos all over the place, secretly yearning for him to actually take on a leading role, something he would easily be capable of. 

Though his two most recent stints aren't his first shots at the TV big time, their certainly his most notable, and they couldn't be more different. On Mad Men he's a shlocky comedian, insulting everyone in his path and incredibly difficult to control. His Lost role is far more understated as the increasingly suspicious and expressive Phil. He plays both roles with just the right amount of quirk, something he possess in spades. 

Even with his growing acclaim, i will probably best remember him for his incredible turn in Mullholland Dr. As a man afflicted by a waking dream, check it out! 

American Idol final .....13?????

We have the final 13 for American Idol and we already know who will win.

Without trying to be cynical - the blind guy has got it wrapped up. There was blind guy on Big Brother UK last summer but he avoided winning by being a complete asshole. We Brits seem more than happy to put someone to the sword regardless of their situation.
But America I doubt would vote a blind man off. Especially as he is a nice chap. So as long as he doesn't drop any F or N bombs then congrats to Scott Mcintyre.

Advert Anonymous

Ever get the feeling you've made a huge mistake? Duffy has, i think it probably came after she watched the world premier of her new Diet Coke ad, which, without a shadow of a doubt, is one of the most nauseating two minutes i've had the pleasure of watching so far this year.

Questions:

1) What is she wearing? The most unflattering outfit i've ever seen, did she pull this out of Kate Bosworth's wardrobe, a size zero she is not

2) What is wrong with her face? I've seen Duffy before but i've never noticed that she looks like a demented clown.

3) What is that noise? Apparently It's Duffy's voice; She has sold millions of albums and won Brit Awards a plenty, but this is ear bleeding stuff, a strangled cat is being far to kind.

4) Why is she riding a racing bike? It's ridiculous, whoever pitched this must have been on a bender with Amy Winehouse the night before.

5) Why does she ride through a supermarket? It's irrelevant.

Verdict: 0/10 - The worst, most pointless advert i've seen this year, and I'm surprised its come from a billion dollar company like coke... they should know better. Duffy should issue a full and frank public apology for this, and until i get one I'm not sure i'll drinking much coke.

Conan O'Brien signs off from Late Night

Friday night saw Conan's final appearance as the host of Late Night.  The following clip is a video of Conan's favourite skit from his 16 year tenure.

Freaky Eaters (BBC Three, Saturday 7pm)

The new season of Freaky Eaters started last week, and to be honest its the kind of show i usually avoid; I can't stand shows where 'psychologists' 'treat' 'people' by 'confronting' them with their worst 'fears.'  BBC Three is actually a huge culprit, Spendaholics for example was a complete mess of a show.  How does filling a room with potatoes and saying "this is how many potatoes you could have bought with the money you spent on that dress" cure anyone? It doesn't. 

The difference with Freaky Eaters is at least you can laugh your head off at the poor sap who can't put a vegetable past their lips without gagging. This episode was no different it was hilarious.  It was about Bolton lass Nikita who was addicted to Bacon and Burgers; supposedly brought on by a mugging. The show consisted of scene after scene of Nikita trying to eat different foods before gagging and spitting them out. I think you'll agree this is just the kind of TV you want to settle down with over a nice take away.

Turns out Nikita used to enjoy signing as a child; cue one of the most humiliating, cringe inducing, but frankly laugh a second scenes i've seen on television this year. They make a now heavily overweight and under-confident Nikita dress up in a prom dress, take her to the clothes show in Birmingham, and have her sing "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. 

Guess what, she can't do it, she bursts out in tears while small utterances and squeaks emerge from her gullet, it was kind of like watching her eat. More to the point what in gods name has this got to do with an eating disorder. After i stopped laughing, i suddenly started to feel an incredible remorse; what has this poor lass done to deserve being humiliated on television in-front of thousands of people.  Passing this kind of tat off as Psychology is bordering on offensive. If it wasn't such good TV i'd be writing to the Daily Mail. 

This episode is still available on Iplayer as we speak and i highly recommend a watch; plus you get to see the greatest town in Britain in all its filth encrusted glory. 

7/10

Conan O'Brien

Coninuing our tribute to Late Night with Conan O'Brien here is  a look at Conan giving a lucky audience member a tour of 30 Rockefeller Centre.

Conan runs through 30 Rockefeller Center - watch more funny videos

Another great clip; How Conan and the gang kept their sanity during the writers strike.

Conan O'Brien Plays Rock Band - A funny movie is a click away

Conan O'Brien

As Conan's tenure on Late Night comes to a close before he moves to the coverted Tonight Show we are going to take a look at some highlights from his 16 years as king of late night.

Important Things With Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin first came to the worlds attention on Comedy Centrals The Daily Show. He was the youth reporter and investigated all things yoof in his segment Trendspotting.
He now has his own series on Comedy Central wednesdays at 10pm called Importnat Things With Demetri Martin. 

Here is a brilliant segment from one of Demetri's early appearances on The Daily Show.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Trendspotting

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Funny Political News
Joke of the Day

Coleen's Real Women and Media Nepotism

After flicking around the tv schedule the rags to riches story that is Coleen Rooney jumped out at me. The first thought that came to me was, if Wayne Rooney the ubiquitous footballer had his own show Wayne's Real Men that would be the greatest piece of tv since well Coleen's real women. Whereas Coleen looks to make the "average" woman the catwalk queen, I feel Wayne's hunt for the next great shakespearan actor amongst home and away football fans could be gripping.

The question arises from Coleen's show - is what makes a woman attractive? In this episode she pits her "real women" against the professional models to decide who might have the chance to advertise magnum ice creams. First of all these "real woman" are all beautful women - how real the experiment is may be questionable, are magnum merely using the show for promotion, well of course they are.  However this show demonstrates something intersting. This show demonstrates the imporantance of opportunity.

Throughout the media industry who gets work and careers appears to be all about opportunity, who you know and who they know. 

Coleen for example, who it appears is natuaral on camera and as presenters go she is not at all bad. She has however got the job purely because of opportunity. She happened to grow up in the same area of Liverpool as part neanderthal part footballing genius. Wayne was fortunate to avoid any serious injury and sailed his way to the top of his profession. Coleen his long term girlfriend and now wife went along for the ride. As fame drew itself to Wayne so it did for Coleen, she slowly grew her profile by just existing. She seemingly developed an everywoman profile which appealed to a brethren and was enhanced by Wayne's indiscretions. In being Wayne Rooney's girlfriend and becoming famous she had opportunity thrust upon her from all angles. 
She comes from a poor background and with no familar legacy in media and has become a sucess. She is now passing this on to the "real women" in her show.

Nepotism is rampant in media, as represented by Richard and Jusy's erstwhile "doing it on my own" daughter Chole, who took up a job on their show on channel 4 and now as a reporter on their barely watched "new position". According to a report in the Daily Mail "Chloé claims she has the talent to succeed despite her name. She told BBC Breakfast: 'When it occurred to me that I wanted to go into TV, it was a proper decision because if I said yes the nepotism claims would start storming in."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1132142/THATS-got-lingerie-contract-Chlo-Madeley-parties-night-away-low-cut-LBD.html 

She has the audacity to claim it is not nepotism but then  accepts jobs on her parent's shows. If we were in the same position we would surely all take every advantage of the opportunity we were given, it is a shame she cannot admit it herself.

I think everyone has an ability in some form to create a place for themselves in the media industry whether it be behind the scenes or infront of the camera, if given the chance. I have experience of this myself going for a job with virgin media television. Though I didn't get the job I asked about work experience, they told me that they rarely gave that out and if they did it was for relatives of those who already work there.

It remains to be seen whether Chole will make the most of the opportunity presented to her by her parents, if she doesn't no doubt Carol Vorderman's children will be waiting in the wings to seize their opportunity.

Snog, Marry Avoid (BBC Three, Mondays)

The second season of 'Snog, Marry Avoid' started on BBCThree last night (yeah, i missed the first season as well!) It's basically a show of that game you played in school, where you'd sit on a bench and say to your mate "would you hit that?" about every girl that walked by. Unfortunately this show isn't that basest; but its entertaining non-the-less. 

It revolves around dragging a load of deluded Jodie Marsh wannabes, in front of a 'computer' to slag them off to high heaven about their orange skin, before giving them an incredibly underwhelming Rikki Lake style 'make-under.' In the mean time they ask a bunch of horny blokes off the street if they would Snog, Marry Avoid the subject; all of them say avoid. 

Last night was interesting only for the fact that they had Chantelle Houghton from Celebrity Big Brother as one of the victims. I simply had no idea what a mess this girl had made of herself. I remember her as a naive blonde who disgraced herself by marrying that muppet who walked off Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Now she looks like Jodie Marsh's little sister, complete with disgusting fake breasts, bright orange 'tan', greasy hair extensions and painted on eye brows. 

They attempt to make her look 'normal' but its impossible, she is too far gone. What a waste of money, though im sure it sold a few copies of Zoo.

6/10